When I fall

When I fall
Will you be the one that picks me up
And if it happens again
Are you the one to tell me what I’m doing wrong
Even if I’m incapable of learning
Or ignorant and angry because of my own mistakes
Will you help me on my feet over and over again
Or do I look up one day and see you standing there
With all the others laughing at my autistic awkwardness
Still not understanding how my brain works

That car is a sedan

He didn’t understand the outside world
What was in fact the world outside his head
As if he knew what “You’re an autist” meant
He just liked to put things in straight lines
Like his toy cars on a Sunday afternoon
They never asked him why he liked it so much
And they never ever understood his game
No! No! No! Not there! That car is a Sedan!

Somewhere Elsie

Her parents didn’t expect this to happen
When they were waiting for a healthy child
And the doctors did not know the cause
But they would love her always and forever

Of course they worried about later
When they would not be there anymore
Would there be someone to love her then
Where she is happy all the time

But her mind is far away in Somewhere Elsie
We can only see her like the things she’s watching
In another place that’s unknown in our world
Where she is happy all the time

Somewhere Elsie, where the sun is warm
You can see it shining in her smile

Somewhere, Elsie

Love over Gold

From the time when the heating went out in winter and we got snowed in and hills were hard to take with a pushbike.

When we had to choose between Home and Away and Coronation Street, and we were absolutely sure we had seen The Grey Lady and Castle Hill wasn’t hollowed out yet.

When we found time to go out together and drink a pint or two or more, when we lived high above the ground in a castle and had parties every weekend. And life was never dull.

We have something that others don’t have and it is friendship.

I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more. Ok, maybe I won’t do exactly that though but only because I am physically incapable of walking that far.

I am now back home and I’m playing this The Proclaimers CD I once bought in England when I was young. It reminds me of good times and it makes me happy.

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Memories

My first gold watch, I bought it in 1989 at Ratner’s in Norwich. So many good memories come back now when I pick it up to look at it.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and hop on my pushbike and speed down Kett’s Hill and turn left into the city center to go there again.

It’s safely tucked away with all the other good memories now.

Gut feeling

This is how I remember it, Brundall railway station. In 1989 I got off the train here, with a knot tied in my stomach. A month before I left the army, not knowing what to do with my life and my uncle, The Brains they called him in the family, advised me “to go far away for a while to grow up and find out who I am”.

It meant a turn in my life that shaped me into what I am still now, I know that sounds a bit cryptic but my real friends know what I mean.

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