Divorce

For John Cleese, his last alimony instalment was paid today

O she ripped the heart out from his chest
Together with the fat wallet in his pocket
Then left him so broken hearted and skint
And at the high honourable judge’s behest
She got the final ruling of the court in print
Took his home, his pots and pans, yes his cat
As she loved hanging out with dirty animals
Her boyfriend is a flea bag and lawyer a rat
How can one survive this I can hear you say
Escape from her evil hate and money games
By praying continuously that she will perish
May her earthly goods unrightfully claimed
Including my wallet she took go up in flames

Yorkshire Tea, Yorkshire Tea!

It is blended in the Yorkshire dales
It will help you recover really quickly
From winter storms and snow and gales

Yorkshire Tea, Yorkshire Tea
All for me, all for me

If you’re sad coz’ your love has run away
And you’ve been crying for at least a week
The only thing you have to do is say

Yorkshire Tea, Yorkshire Tea
All for me, all for me

Born in the wrong country just like me
No surgery in the world can fix that now
But all you have to do is brew a pot of

Yorkshire Tea, Yorkshire Tea
All for me, all for me

So I’m eccentric

eccentricToday someone said to me: “Doesn’t it worry you that people find you a little bit eccentric?” To which I replied “Am I?” And then I thought: “So what? Does it really matter?”

People come in all sorts and sizes. Some have a hump, some have a lisp, some stink. And some are quite normal, like you, or a little bit eccentric, like me. But we all enjoy the warmth of the sun in the same way. Personally I’m not bothered that people say I am eccentric, and I don’t even care that I really am. I quite enjoy my life as I live it, idiosyncrasies, odd hobbies and peculiarities included. There’s a name for that: HAPPINESS!

So if you happen to step into my life, accept me the way I am. And if you don’t: I still pour you a cup of coffee. Because that’s what I’m like.

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