Frustration

meine-liebe-300x300“I sincerely would like to go running to get rid of the frustration but this frustration is caused by the inability to run.”

This is what I told myself a few days ago. Being chronically ill is at times really frustrating. On the one hand I do not want to complain, on the other hand it is sometimes really frustrating!

When I still had a job outside the house my mind was taken off the subject at most times but now I’m at home I sometimes can not get it out of my head at all. And it has gradually become lonelier too.

Most of my friends have a job, are healthy and have a lot to do in their spare time. They don’t want to listen to someone whining about being ill all the time, three-weekly infusions, weakness and the ever present fatigue. They probably want to go to their sports club, pub or a friends’ card game evening rather than that. And who could blame them really.

Today was Sunday and everybody I know went to church or was otherwise busy enjoying themselves. I spent most of the day on the couch, being bored, listening to music. I wished I had the energy to go out but as it was I hadn’t. I listened to uplifting gospel music, talked to my family, cooked tea and back to the couch again. And being particularly grumpy sometimes I put on my moping face, see below.

I know I shouldn’t have done that really but it just happened. And I am sorry, I didn’t mean it to happen. But sometimes life can be so frustrating!

Moping face

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Leendert van Gemeren

Dit ben ik, Leendert. Ik ben een beetje ouderwets en houd van dingen die geweest zijn, bijvoorbeeld oude Engelse series op TV zoals All Creatures Great And Small, mechanische horloges, bifocale brillen en oude langspeelplaten. Ik houd niet van moderne dingen en werk regelmatig aan een ouderwetse modelspoorbaan. Ik volg Jezus en schrijf mijn gedichten soms ook over Hem maar ik schrijf ook verhalen over het leven. Excentriek. Op feestjes ben ik vaak te vinden in de keuken.


This is me, Leendert. I am a little bit old-fashioned and I love things from the past, old series like All Creatures Great And Small, mechanical wristwatches, bi-focal glasses and vinyl records for example. I am not keen on modern things and I often work on this old style model railway. I follow Jesus and sometimes write a poem about Him but I also write about my life. Eccentric. You can often find me in the kitchen at parties.

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