I am a very keen Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmer in Holiday Season times.
People have been asking me on several occasions in the recent past, “How do you do it Leendert, just how do you master the art of Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming?”
And I will then have to say, “I don’t know really, it is a gift. Something that comes naturally.” But then I would be lying of course, the art of Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming is a matter of practice and you can do it too if you like and make the effort.
So, for the sake of all those of you that might be jealous and want to become an Expert Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmer as well I am now giving you the insights here with this short overview of techniques, aesthetic aspects and other matters of this rare art.
Aesthetics first! It is very important to make a good impression on your spectators, make sure you are looking good, like me. Wear a lot of gold rings that sparkle in the sun, people will be watching the movements of your hands all the time. Basically, it is all about showing off.
You cannot practice Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming in muddy water, plain water or even the sea, those are unsuitable environments for this type of sports. Remember, Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming is all about showing off.
You need space! Do not poke other Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmers in the eye. Even better, make sure you are the only Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmer as you need the attention!
It is impossible to create a spectacular effect with your Slow Motion Breaststroke when there are no onlookers, it’s just no use.
In order to become an Expert Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmer you must have good strong legs, it is all in the legs when it comes to propelling your body through the water. Like normal breaststroke you use your legs to move and swim. The difference is that in this sport you make gracious circles with your hands in a very slow movement, half a circle above the surface and down and back half a circle under water. Graciously.
It is important to move your head equally graciously from left to right, as you can see in this picture. And -this is very, very, very important- wear a smile. And shades, preferably gold. People will admire you for that when you are Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming. Also, be sure not to kick up too much water with your feet, elegance is the key word here.
You may too be able to become an Expert Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimmer if you follow the directions above. And when you do practice, please tell me about your experiences. You too could master the art of Slow Motion Breaststroke Swimming. Eventually.