Frustration

“I sincerely would like to go running to get rid of the frustration but this frustration is caused by the inability to run.”

This is what I told myself a few days ago. Being chronically ill is at times really frustrating. On the one hand I do not want to complain, on the other hand it is sometimes really frustrating!

When I still had a job outside the house my mind was taken off the subject at most times but now I’m at home I sometimes can not get it out of my head at all. And it has gradually become lonelier too.

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Feeding my family

I have four lovely children. They grow up fast and lately they have been complaining there is not enough food on the table at tea time.

I usually have the same amount of food for every meal and when they complained I decided to make 50 % extra for each meal from now on. For example, instead of just over 1 kilogram of peeled potatoes I now made at least 1.5 kilogram. Or rice, or pasta. And likewise for vegetables and meat.

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Miracles do happen

Years ago I had severe problems with my lungs and due to years of pneumonia and being chronically ill my lung capacity had been reduced. To find out the extend of the damage I was sent to a hospital for research and checks and having yet again survived another pneumonia this was a hard thing for me to do.

This is where they put you in an air tight glass booth with a peg on your nose and a nozzle in your mouth to measure several aspects of the lungs. Day one passed with endless flow tests using different irritating substances such as ammonia to irritate the lungs and then measure air volume, oxygen absorption, capacity and other things.

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Creating memories that last

Today I made Semolina pudding, I think the Americans call it Tapioca but I’m not sure. In my version I used Almond cookies and liquor as it was meant to be eaten by adults, not children.

This is something that we used to get after Sunday dinner (except then there was no liquor in it). I remember how it tasted and although it was never that popular when we were children, I have never forgotten it and I just loved it. We usually had cherry syrup on top.

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First day without a job, it does feel different

Today is my first day without a job, after a year working for a JAVA development company I am now at home. They let me go after changes of insight in the structure and scale of a Customer Support Group for their products.

And I couldn’t keep up with the level of support they were offering to their customers, I just lacked the energy to learn the needed skills and knowledge. It does feel different you know, rather than having a day off this is somewhat useless moping around. Sitting on the couch wondering what to do next.

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year

Merry Christmas to you all! And I don’t just say it, I really mean it too. As my friends you might know I am very fond of this time of the year since with Christmas I am very much aware that Jesus saved me from my bad nature and made me a new person again.

Christmas, His arrival at planet Earth, the Gospel, friends and family around me, lovely food, the music, lights and decorations in the room and the feeling being connected with my very dear friends near and far, it makes me feel happy again whilst there are so many reasons not to be. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

I wish you God’s blessing for this Christmas and the coming year. May dreams come true and most of all, prayers be answered. For all of you.

P.S. Did you get a chance to read my Christmas poem I wrote especially for you this year?