Christmas Jumper

I showed him the picture and asked him for a 3XL and he just laughed and said there weren’t enough Christmas lights in the world to go with that. Cheeky! “Sir if that is on top of your Christmas List as you say, what is second?” he asked. I told him with overt sarcasm that would be Dungarees and he laughed even more.

Now even for a salesman in a clothing store that is near crossing the line so I told him to be careful now, which he did. He went back into the warehouse and came back with a Christmas Tree Green woolen jumper. No reindeer? “No reindeer I’m afraid sir.”

But that was last year. And as I was unlucky on my own venturing into the world of buying festive clothes then we went as a family yesterday to the massive outlet mall one and half hour drive from our place. There were nearly a hundred clothing stores all together in what I can only describe as a confection village.

It looked like one of those wild west studios that replicated a wild west town. Signs were hanging everywhere in a neatly fashion showing the brand they were selling inside. We walked for hours, having fun here and there, buying things we needed but no Christmas Jumper in sight. “That might be in next month’s new collection sir.” I was told in several stores.

And so even in this place we couldn’t find what I wanted so my beloved wife came up with a plan B. Oh I loathe fitting clothes in one of those small booths in the back of a shop, but as she was in charge now taking over from my feeble quest for a Woolen Knitted Gentleman’s Christmas Jumper and deciding I needed a more realistic choice of clothing for the Holiday Season.

Ok, she says I look very dapper but still it’s itching in my mind; would there still be a Christmas Jumper waiting in a store for me somewhere? Wait a minute, that’s just the itch of this new outfit. But I do look good in it, I agree. Why must women always be right?