Brexit explained

Brexit. That is what we call it, Great Britain leaving the EU. And soon there will be a Referendum about it so the British people can have their say in the matter.

One of my friends said she likes to make an informed choice and she hasn’t been very well informed so she doesn’t know what to vote now.

Another friend says: “The Remain camp just keep spinning doom and gloom and for ever slating the Leave camp, the Leave camp seem to have been the more honest of them not scaremongering and seem more factual.

So this is my view on things to help her, and a lot of other fine British people, to make up their mind and make a sensible choice, cross the right box on the form. It is about time I speak my mind about the matter anyway, glad to oblige.

Because here it is, the naked truth about Brussels. Brussels wants the British to give up their history, culture and food and conform them to stupid rules about basically everything in life. And just in case you think there will be time enough to choose, it might already be too late as their bad influence has been affecting day to day life in England already for a long time.


Before you know it there are no aerials on the rooftops anymore, there be no more room temperature Ale in pubs, and dart players have to be separated from the rest in a puncture proof cabin or go outside with their game. Just think about it, how does this sound for the future: “Bartender, can I have half a liter of cold Ale please?” “Sorry, what did you say, did you say you want half a liter of cold Ale?” “Yes please, with exactly three centimeters of froth on top, I want to pay for the froth too.” No more Pints, they will be a thing of the past soon.


Yellow Custard. Is there anything more British than Yellow Custard? It is so very British that it has to be written with capitals just like Great Britain itself. British people can be ever so vague about telling others at the table what they want. “Can I please have that white stuff, it’s next to the salt with the milk? Yes, that’s right I want the Sugar, thank you.” Now this is also applicable to Custard as there is no Yellow Custard anymore. So how are you going to ask for that when you had your Tea? Can you please pass me that white stuff … Oh come on!


This has already started, Dutch Roundabouts. They are popping up everywhere in the country now, roundabouts with an extra circle for cyclists. But you don’t need them you know. England is a country that traditionally hates bicycles, well, you remember that Monty Python scene with the cyclist crashing into things. That episode my friends, it was recorded for a reason. Soon you’ll be all driving on the right side of the road following an overnight scheme to repaint the markings on the roads and you’ll be twisting your necks in a whiplash constantly looking to the wrong side of the road to see if there are more foreign cyclists approaching. The accidents will be too numerous to count!

Need I go on? I think not. So now you know what to vote being well informed with arguments to lay aside every reason the ‘Remain camp’ may come up with. Good luck.

The only thing good about Brussels is their Sprouts.