Beats per minute


So, this is a sensitive subject for me and I’ve been thinking for quite some time this morning if I should write about this or not. But I decided I should do it regardless the expected criticism of some people as it could be a benefit to other men dealing with the same issue.

The fact is, all men wonder after they’ve had a heart attack if and when it is the right time to have sex again and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

There is a lot of insecurity amongst men when it’s about ‘that thing’ and for some reason they are afraid to talk about it and when they do they just can’t speak their mind because they are ashamed to admit: I am weak right now but I want it so much.

Ask God the right questions

I love her to death, I promised her that in church when we got married which is also why I prayed that the outcome would be that we could still be growing old together. I strongly believe I can bring all my worries to God in prayer and I also believe He understands. So we each prayed our own prayers.

Ask her the right questions

We talked about it openly and she understood and as it had been a while before I had a heart attack and recovering from it also took at least three weeks I wanted it so much that we both decided we should do it regardless worries, mental and physical state and luckily for me the love of my life agreed no matter what would happen.

Ask the doctor the right questions

The cardiologist I asked in hospital was surprised I wasn’t ashamed to simply ask the right questions and he had the right answers, I felt relieved. He told me we should wait with sex at least three weeks and then until I could walk up and down two flights of stairs in one go without stopping and without getting short of breath. The energy a man needs to have for this effort could be compared to ‘good passionate sex’.

He also said that the experience could be disappointing because medication to lower blood pressure could also lead to ‘not being able to perform as required’ (don’t you just love doctors who choose their words freely but wisely) and I should ‘check that manually’, if so I should come back to him to discuss a change in medication. And wearing a health tracker at all times could be of use to check upon bodily functions. In short:

  • Wait at least three weeks
  • Build up strength
  • Walk the stairs up and down twice
  • Check ‘if the gear works’
  • Wear a health tracker

Listen to your body

A few days before my heart attack I got a health tracker from my wife and when I got it back on my wrist when I came home from hospital I was surprised it had registered the actual heart attack which gave me an idea now. Besides being a little mischievous by nature I am also always curious so I decided to keep my health tracker on during love making so I could check on the results afterwards, which I did. Below are the relevant screenshots from the health tracker app (click on them for larger view), they are self explanatory.

Screenshots of the health tracker

Listen to your doctor!

That first yellow spike in the first picture above needs no explanation, the second spike, the one that you can see in the header image on top of this blog, that was walking down the stairs for breakfast. And even that came nowhere near to the numbers in the Harvard study.

During sexual intercourse, a man’s heart rate rarely gets above 130 beats a minute, and his systolic blood pressure (the higher number, recorded when the heart is pumping blood) nearly always stays under 170. All in all, average sexual activity ranks as mild to moderate in terms of exercise intensity.

Source: Harvard University

Listen to the advice of the cardiologist, each person is different and each heart attack has a different effect on a person. There is no comparison between two men who had a heart attack and you should always follow the advice of the doctors, this is very important. And my blog is in no way meant as medical advice, let that be clear.

“Ultimately your comfort level is most important, and you should speak with your doctor about what level of activity is considered safe. Patients can certainly wait a few weeks to recover from their heart attack, but then should feel comfortable having sex with their partner.”

Source: Dr. Haythe MD, Columbia Doctors cardiologist on

Listen to your wife

It takes two to Tango, if she’s not comfortable with it there’ll be no dancing. 🙂


I wrote this blog to encourage you and if possible to take your worries away and in the end I still think that is a good idea. If a doctor says sex can be compared to walking up and down the stairs twice in terms of energy you can believe he or she is right. But whilst there are plenty references on the internet of medical professionals telling you that there is no problem with having sex a while after having a heart attack, there are virtually no survivors brave enough to openly discuss the matter. Until now that is, Carpe Diem.