This is me, Leendert. I am a little bit old-fashioned and I love things from the past, old series like All Creatures Great And Small and On The Buses, mechanical wristwatches, bi-focal glasses, the old Pub Clock in the living room and vinyl records on my Garrard record player for example. I like shiny rings, bracelets and necklaces. Eccentric. You can often find me in the kitchen at parties.
Six weeks after my heart attack, check up time. This morning I woke up a little more excited than in the past weeks, today I had several appointments in hospital for the first check up on my heart.
At breakfast, I read the instructions for the appointment which told me I had to take the boxes of the medication I had taken in the past weeks, one of each and also the list they had given me at discharge from hospital days after I had it.
I have two best friends, we have been friends all our lives and often spent time together. We even went on holidays together sometimes, on our pushbikes or by car.
On one of these occasions we decided to venture into grounds where we were not supposed to go, we were trespassing. This adventure stayed with us all the rest of our lives as a great memory and anecdote, we often talked about it at birthday parties or the occasional reunion. Until now, we now have the pictures too.
So, this is a sensitive subject for me and I’ve been thinking for quite some time this morning if I should write about this or not. But I decided I should do it regardless the expected criticism of some people as it could be a benefit to other men dealing with the same issue.
The fact is, all men wonder after they’ve had a heart attack if and when it is the right time to have sex again and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Ricketie ticketie boom boom
Oh you naughty Frikandel snack
Greasy monster in my mouth
You have given me a heart attack
And then you nearly killed me
But now that I am alive and back
Ricketie ticketie boom boom
I am teaching you a lesson
In the midst of my darkest moment, my greatest fear and the most excruciating pain I experienced, I cried to God. Then suddenly this thought came to my mind: This is where you shut the door behind you for the first and last time and wait for the light to go on in your new room. And for a few seconds I got excited!
I really thought I wouldn’t have the chance to say goodbye and had to move forward to spend eternity in heaven. Physically I wouldn’t have been able to fight my way back, in a spiritual way I was led by a higher power, God, and would not have wanted to if He had taken my hand right then and there.
There are some things in life that you can not predict nor see it coming. This week I had a heart attack.
My Tuesday started like any other weekday, breakfast, shower, coffee. In this case, shaving my head was added to the routine as you can see. Little did I know, when I was making myself a cup of coffee, about the events that followed that day. And then it hit me, literally.
I am a very keen Slow Motion Breast Crawler in Holiday Season times.
People have been asking me on several occasions in the recent past, “How do you do it Leendert, just how do you master the art of Slow Motion Breast Crawling?”
And I will then have to say, “I don’t know really, it is a gift. Something that comes naturally.” But then I would be lying of course, the art of Slow Motion Breast Crawling is a matter of practice and you can do it too if you like and make the effort.
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